Lately, I’ve been having some issues with my family. I tried to control a bit my family situation but it isn’t that easy. In the end, I felt unhappy and all these negative energies started to come out making others unhappy as well. When I arrived at my aunt house, I wanted to relieve myself all these negative energies from me and I felt much better after I have done it. Somehow, it doesn’t make people around me feel easy in my presence. I’ve tried to remain positive throughout the months since I started University but I realized I’ve picked up a lot of negative energy during the semester from myself and others, then I gave this energy to someone else.
I’m going to look for a place to unwind myself a bit in the future. I got the chance to rent a cabin near the nature for a special price at $130 somewhere in the North of Montreal for four persons but I wanted to give myself enought time to think about it but it got sold out yesterday before the sale expired in a few days from today. I was a bit disappointed of course but I’m sure I’ll come across a deal like this sometimes in the future. For now, I’ll concentrate on yoga, reading lots of books, cooking and trying new things.
I read a blog post by Fran from Highonhealth.org about letting go on things and just go with the flow in life. It explains exactly how I feel in my life and how we shouldn’t try to control some things that we have no control over. Life isn’t a destination but a journey full of surprises when we finally accept things as they are and just go with the flow. I’m planning to respond to life situations and make the best of my life here on earth. I hope to do great things and have meaningful friendships and relationships. Yes, it’s time to get new friendships and relationships to see what is out there in the world.
Here is Fran’s post on her website.
“Over the last few days I’ve been learning a little lesson about control. It’s so empowering when you begin to open your eyes to all of the little lessons that life places in front of you. With our eyes, minds and hearts wide open, we can go with the flow of life and have a much smoother ride. If we become closed off and stubborn and choose to ignore the little signs that life presents to us, then the lessons will likely become lot more obvious which usually means a lot harder too.
An ex lover of mine recently stumbled back into my life. After our first meeting it was like the gates of communication were opened back up again and we bathed in the sunlight of being able to once again hold that uplifting connection that we shared throughout our relationship. It was a blessing to feel the absence of the shackles of our ended relationship and to finally be able to create a new connection on a level of friendship. However, as I began to notice how wonderful I felt in his presence, my fear grew stronger than the divine connection I was feeling with this other beautiful soul and I began to question weather our meeting was too premature.
It was all about control. I felt as though by meeting with an ex lover I was not allowed to feel full and wonderful in his presence. I felt as though I needed to control my emotions even though our meetings were never sexual and were not following old patterns that we’d held in the past. My lack of control led to self criticism followed by feelings of bad energy lingering around my heart and especially my solar plexus, which is the area of personal power. I remember in an astrology reading I had done in LA, my astrologer told me that I had no enemies in this lifetime. That my only enemy was myself. This here is a perfect example. I had managed to turn a lovely situation into a drama and had somehow managed to find a tiny little piece of darkness and blow it well out of proportion.
I sat with the self criticism for a few days trying to make sense of it and communicating it with my ex lover. But it wasn’t until I returned home after our last meeting that every piece clicked into place. I contacted one of my closest friends in a little bit of a panic fearing that I’d done the wrong thing by spending time with him. But as I spoke to her I realized that what I’d in fact done was take the magic away from a very loving connection with a man that had held significance in my life. As I spoke I realized that our meetings were not in fact bad, they were the opposite – healing. And my friends reaction was much the same.. she practically shrugged over the phone and said “So what’s the big deal, you two are friends right??”. Um, oh .. yeh.
So I had to let go. I had to let go of my ideas that I had to follow a plan or a formula, or a pattern that must be followed for the months or even years after a relationship has ended. I had to let go of the idea that I needed to feel a certain way at all times. And I had to let go of trying to control my own destiny and my own path instead of taking a deep breath in and a big breath out and falling into the gentle waves that life flows me through. Only with this realization can I feel closer to spirit, closer to the divine in my ex lover, and at peace with my heart and with myself.
This lesson can be applied to all areas of our life. Look around you, I bet you’re controlling something that would be much more suited to the flow of life if you just let go. For a lot of you reading this blog that control is probably the idea of “perfect skin”, where in reality that’s just not possible. Once you let go of that idea then you’ll stop staring at it in the mirror so much, you’ll stop picking it, stop obsessing about it and perhaps even stop thinking so much about it. And only then will your soul shine through brighter than ever, so bright in fact that nobody will be able to even see a spot on your skin. They’ll be too busy admiring the radiance of your heart.” – Fran from highonhealth.org: http://www.highonhealth.org/a-little-lesson-of-letting-go/