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Personal thinking

The past remains the past… Right? I thought so but…

Why is it so easy to care what other people think of you? Simply… What if you’ve been taught to care for years? How easy is it to uncared? Not easy when you hang around the people who keeps talking about he/she said about you, he/she thinks about you and all that bullcraps that bring nothing but feeling bad about yourself.

This trip has brought me so much memories and I learned so much about myself. However… The past seems to remain in me but yet it has nothing to do with me anymore. In this present, I am Christina now 21 years old starting University in less than a month and the one in the family who has traveled by herself. Am I right? Why do I feel a bit of self-conscious in everything I do sometimes? My parents had left me alone now… Yes! Yet, my brother gets attacked. I keep hearing about the complains about this and that from those around me. Excuse me? Do you have anything good to say? Oh wait wait… Now I am the one complaining too. I remember in my trip, I did not complain as much and just go with the flow. Why do I complain a lot about? Same old same old thing. Nothing about the struggle of life just the overall atmosphere that I hate feeling and the feeling of being hopeless.

Everything that was said about me was a few months ago right? I still remember the pain and the humiliation that was said/done to me by those that swore on my birth to protect me from. It still hurts me like no other… I was denied the right to be happy because they were not happy themselves.

Maybe… I will finally be able to put aside this feeling and learn to forgive once I turn the next chapter in my life. I can see this day approaching anytime soon… I will finally be at peace and rebuild myself from then on. This trip was only the beginning of my journey to be me.



One thought on “The past remains the past… Right? I thought so but…

  1. La tête dans les nuages ou les pensées au loin dans le vague !!!!

    Posted by eric | September 5, 2010, 7:31 PM

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